The Apocalypse Is Upon Us...

Randy Newman Fans Rejoice: Lost Demo Found!

I know this blog is mostly about "dad stuff," but when you strike gold, you gotta share.

Yesterday, I was digging around my dad's garage, and underneath some dusty copies of The Parakeet Periodical and a rather large collection of Jerry Reuss baseball cards, I found an old tape.  Nothing was written on it, so I popped it into my mp3/tape player (I'm an Apple tester), and WOW!  It's a demo from sometime between the early 1960s and late 90s.  The artist?  Just a little known Oscar-winning singer/songwriter named...RANDY NEWMAN.  Amazing, right?!  I don't know the title of the song, but it's a good one.  If you have any info on it, please let me know ASAP!  And if you don't, then just sit back and enjoy.  

Ladies and gentleman...Randy Newman. 

Baby Name Game: It's Miller Time

We're very close to the end here, and this is one of the finalist:  "Miller Cantrell Roberson." Thoughts?  The kid with three last names.

Now from my research, Miller as a first name is almost never used.  Not that folks haven't tried.  I've run across several baby name message boards, and the decision to use Miller is a hot topic.  Like Iraq war hot.  Folks have taken sides, and frankly, the "No's" have it.  But people who post hard stances on baby name message boards don't have babies; they have cats, so let's call it even.

The reasons for not choosing Miller are obvious.  "It's a last name, idiot.  Not a first." "Everyone will think you named him after a beer."  "Do you really want people constantly shouting, 'It's Miller time' whenever he walks in a room?"  The answer to this last one is clearly...YES!   Who wouldn't want that?  And should he walk into a room where people don't know him, he can yell, "You know what time it is!"

If we use Miller, clearly we are paddling into uncharted territory, but so what?  Wasn't there someone who once said, "Dear, I think Mervin is a great name."  And BAM!  That one kind was named Mervin.

MLK, Jr. Tommy Edison.  Bill Shakespeare.  Dad who calls his kid Miller.  I'd say the "originals have it."

But let's hear it, dear reader.  Does Miller work as a first name, or am I potentially saddling my kid with something just so his future bros will think he's cool?

A Five Year Old's Thoughts on...Drunk Driving

According to my MONSTA, the real danger in drunk driving is "when your car turns into a robot and starts dancing."  Seems like an easy thing for the cops;  just look for the giant crumping robots.  

Fun Wit My Kid's Stickerz: Stoned Unicorns

It's 9:00 @ Night. Do You Know Where Your Children Are?

Yeah. She's in a giant box, chit-chattin' with grandma, and NOT ASLEEP!  

A Word of Caution When Buying Kid's Clothes...

If you know what our year has been like, it's probably no surprise that WIFE and I are only now feeling stable enough to consider buying stuff for MONSTA 2.0.  GRANDMA broke the ice, sending over a fancy new car seat and some soft onesies.  Now it's our turn.  If we don't get it together, not only will this dude be nameless, but naked as well.  That can't be legal.  So today, I'm looking for clothes.  But as I do, I'm reminded by TODD BARRY to be careful in what I choose.  After seeing a toddler in a Dead Kennedy's t-shirt, Barry says:

'BUT HONEY, IF HE WEARS A SWEATER, NO ONE WILL KNOW HOW GREAT MY RECORD COLLECTION IS.'

Moral of the Story: 

if people want to know about my impeccable taste in music, they'll ask.

Name Game: Malcolm and Quinn

Two months out, and I have to say, this kid may never get named.  For reals.  Can you imagine him, in school, staring at his Scantron with nothing to bubble in?  This is serious.  This is real.

But have faith, dear reader.  Today's entries are both A-game contenders.   Up first...

MALCOLM.  My idea.  Not bad, right?  It's of Scottish origin, and has been the name of several kings.  Speaking of King, it's most famously the birth name of black civil rights leader and sometime MLK rival MALCOLM X.  Now personally, I'm okay with this.  The guy was certainly steadfast in his beliefs, and was willing to make himself a target for a greater good.  WIFE, however, is afraid that since our boy will be half-black (score one for his chance at being able to dunk), people will assume that we named him after Denzel...er...X.  Though I don't share her concern, it could be bad for me.  All of a sudden, people thinking I'm gonna come to PTA in a bow-tie and black beret, then get bummed when I'm wearing pizza-stained Umbros and my USA Dream Team sweatshirt?  That's pressure I don't need.

So if not Malcolm (and I haven't given that fight up yet, as it's my favorite card on the table), then what?  Today, WIFE called with...QUINN.

Quinn.  A nice ring to it.  Fun to say.  Possible campaign slogan:  "You can't spell WIN, without QUINN." (sort of) Also, a strong name.  It makes me think of Anthony Quinn, one of my favorite actors and a beast of a dude.  It too comes from the "kilt region," and means "counsel."  Um...alright. And give another point to Quinn for coming strong it's own theme song:

So what do you think?  MALCOLM?  QUINN?  Or something else...Please let us know.  This kid's "Uterus Eviction Notice" is due any month now, and we'll need something to yell when he starts eating the heads off MONSTA's Barbies.  HELP!