I'd Never Wish Anyone Harm, But...

I'm a nice guy, and I don't wish harm on fellow humans, but to the guy who created the virus currently eating my laptop from the inside out...in my dreams, you're in a dark, dungeon of a room.  It's your home.  From here, you ruin people's lives because of some sick personal philosophy that you gleaned from the meth-fueled ramblings of some other sick person working out of a dungeon room.  The kind who thinks "Girl with a Dragon Tattoo" is this year's best comedy.  In my dream, you're on the floor, crushed by the weight of the super computer you used to destroy my night and waste my time.  It isn't killing you, per se, but you can't move it either.  It's all so, come se dice... Sisyphean.  Ah, if only you had made more friends, and not pushed those who loved you away.  Maybe someone would eventually stop by for a visit, some tea, a few kind words.   They'd find you on the ground, injured but not dead. They'd try to lift the computer off you, and if they could not, they'd get help. They would try and try until you, my friend, were free.

But this Hollywood ending is not for you.  There is no one coming.  Just this giant computer that can never be moved.  And don't look now, but your cat - the one you neglected all these years - is looking very, very hungry.  Let's hope that like Garfield, your cat prefers the taste of Italian-American cuisine and not, well, your face.

But like I said.  I'm a nice guy, and only wish you the best.  All this...it's just a dream.