Today is a big day. It's WIFE's birthday. Out of deep respect, I won't tell you how old she is. Okay, I will, but I'm going to do that thing where you put your hand in front of your mouth as you say the number. Ready? Today, WIFE turns...Now remember: discretion is 9/10s of the law.
I wanted her to feel like a queen today. For her to be completely at ease, and to see our apartment as a fine Tahitian spa, where all her dreams of relaxation and long hours of uninterrupted sleep can come true. By the time she lays down tonight, I wanted her to have bliss coming out of the wazoo.
Too bad none of this happened. Why? Because she was too occupied being the kind of mom that deserves such finery. She was just too damn busy getting spit up on, and fretting about "good latches" while another human literally sucked the life from her. And when she wasn't doing that, she was helping me stop our oldest from smothering the new addition with nasal drip and a bear hug that could scare Dusty Rhodes. And for the most part, she did it all with that top-shelf smile that still knocks me cold.
If MONSTA 1, 2, and I could give her everything she deserves - everything she's earned - we would. She'd have that spa-month and all-inclusive buffet. But we can't. Working in non-profit makes that decision for you. So today, we settled for our unconditional love, attention, and a Kindle Fire. It doesn't make up for the bouquet of flowers I should be bringing home every week, but it's a start.
Happy Birthday, baby. I love you now as much as ever.
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